"The gospel declares that man's hope is not to be found in evolution but in revolution - revolution that is inward and spiritual." - from "The Radical Christian" by Arthur Wallis
Do you ever wonder why so often we fail to truly reflect the image of our Heavenly Father? Dr. Steve Crosby addresses that and other questions in part 2 of his series.
We learn that our understanding of Him (or misunderstanding) is ultimately what we end up reflecting to others.
The key to the new covenant is understanding true faith. It is not just believing a set of doctrines, but RELATIONAL TRUST. This has been a transformational value in my life.
You will also appreciate Steve's sharing about God's provision for Covenantal living.
Here is part 2 of the series, How New is the New Covenant?
We are approaching the 3 year mark in our life outside the institutional church system. And if there is one thing I am convinced of, it is this: too many people in this "movement" are more aware of what they have left than where they are going.
Irrespective of where and how people "worship" I believe the measure of our flourishing in Jesus is directly related to the measure of apostolic/prophetic foundations in our lives. (Ephesians 2:20) And I am increasingly burdened by the reality that for many, these foundations have really never been established.
At the heart of this is the gospel of the Kingdom. I believe too many "believers" are familiar with a gospel that is, in reality, profoundly incomplete. I speak from my own experience. What I thought was the gospel was really a shadow of the gospel Paul proclaimed as "the power of God unto salvation". (Romans 1:16)
I stand in awe today with a profoundly more complete picture of the Gospel. Yes, I left an institution 4 years ago that was so "cross" focused that resurrection life was essentially smothered. But more importantly, by God's grace, He has placed us in a growing family in this city that includes foundation building gifts to the body: apostles and prophets who are passionate about the New Covenant. One of those gifts is Dr. Steve Crosby.
I rejoice in the deposit the Lord has given Steve. And I see the ongoing impartation of the Kingdom values he shares and walks out with God's people from day to day. Recently Steve started delivering a series of messages in Hickory, NC, How "New" is the New Covenant? I sensed very strongly the Lord's desire to widely broadcast what he is communicating, so I will post these messages here over the next few weeks.
The first is an Introduction.
Since my teens I have believed that too much of today's expression of "church" is more like the Old Testament than the New. There is a good reason for that: we really don't get that new means NEW!
That is a good starting place to take in Steve's first message from New Covenant Sessions. As always, we welcome your comments.
In the early stages of my significant period of "deconstruction", I was blessed to read "Identity Theft" by Kevin Avram and Wes Boldt. The authors are old friends who reconnected through a Divine appointment. It turns out their fellowship resulted in rich times of fellowship and sharing. The Lord was teaching them together. The result is this desperately needed book that takes us on a path to walking in our identity as sons, as opposed to laborers, orphans, or beggars.
"Identity Theft" begins with the background stories of the Avrams and the Boldts. Wes and Mary Boldt's account kicks off with the sale of the business they ran for 26 years.
Wes describes their church experience. Mary was involved in many wasy, including the worship ministry. He served on the elders board for 20 years, including several years as board chairman. And of course, they gave a lot of money. Wes describes this season of life:
"I was living on autopilot during those years. This is the only way I know how to explain why I didn't pause for even a second to consider that there might be a difference between the church as an institution and the church as a Christ-centered body of believers. I was so confident and ambitious that I didn't have time for the more organic aspect of church, including relationships. I was interested soley in building the institution. I figured if God could be pleased with a successful large church, how might He feel if we could build a successful mega-church?"
Life changed significantly after the Boldt's largest competitor offered to buy their business.
"With the removal of the business from our lives, the basis upon which I had found my identity and understood my purpose was no longer valid. My role as a check writer to the church had also stopped, meaning I was about to discover how intricately my ability to give financially had influenced, and at times, even defined, my sense of identity."
The Lord began teaching Wes and Mary about heart attitude and motivational gifts. Wes realized that he derived his self-worth and identity from his status as a business owner and position in the church. Now, in the Arizona desert, he didn't have either. And there was yet one more brutal discovery for the Boldts.
"Mary and I had sacrified endless hours and large sums of money for our church, yet it was in our desert wilderness with the institutional aspect of church was revealed. We discovered that the basis for most of our relationships had been work- and church related rather than personal. The men I ahd worked with on the elders' board disappeared out of my life. I remember how happy I was the night one of them called on the phone, and my deep disappointment when I realized the only reason for the call was an appeal for funds. Was my worth as a man and church member derived soley from what I could contribute to the institution? Was the glue that had previously held all our relationshps together only the institutions, its goals, and our giving?
Eventually, I realized that after 30 years of adult living and more than 20 years as a church board member at a mainline evangelical church, I ddin't even know what church was, and worse, I didn't even know who I was."
In all fairness, it must be said that most of the church system we’ve all known and experienced promotes a culture of passivity with its perpetuation of the “pastor/laity” divide. However, the tendency is more pronounced, in “churches” that promote a strong hierarchal expression of leadership: they tend to foster even a deeper and more damaging level of passivity and inactivity among members. I do not believe that for the most part, the damage caused by these leaders is with intent, but rather, through ignorance and blindness: blindness regarding the scriptures, and blindness regarding themselves. But as we know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Since I began this series, I’ve gotten mixed feedback. Those who have experienced some form of spiritual abuse firsthand, or are aware of situations involving someone they know, have been encouraged by what they’ve read. They’ve wondered, many times for years, whether something was wrong with them. Now they realize that voice whispering to them was actually the Holy Spirit. Still others have predictably circled the wagons, either dismissing the idea that something very serious is wrong, or justifying their defense of the organization by personally attacking people who offer critical assessments of the institution. Still others acknowledge there are issues but do not see the urgency of them. And the age-old excuse is thrown out thoughtlessly: “There is no perfect church.” (I’ve always rejected this excuse. If we simply rest in the fact we are imperfect, why bother to address our imperfections?) And still others are so deeply blinded by their devotion to leaders, that they honestly don’t see a thing. Tragically, many of them frankly don’t care.
I am personally aware of some leaders who can accurately be described as textbook examples of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. They have fooled hundreds (even thousands) with a well-rehearsed “humble demeanor.” But unknown to their most ardent supporters, is a trail of damaged lives . . . people thrown under the bus in the name of building religious empires. If these followers had only an ounce of basic human curiosity, they would inquire about, and find behavior they would never imagine engaging in themselves. And yet they tragically believe these pastors are more “spiritual” than they are . . . men whose example should be followed without question.
How many lives have been disrupted by “church plants” or “adoptions” where leaders have been “de-gifted” and sent packing? In so many of these situations, the congregation accepted the changes as the wise decisions of those who are “over them.” Other members have relocated to new cities or towns and sold properties at a loss, only to find that they have been exploited. I am aware of one such “church plant” that was doomed from the start. In truth it was a church split: a by-product of profound relational conflict between leaders. (Leaders who guided the church through several rounds of “Peacemaker” curriculum.) All of the elements that led to the demise of the “plant” could have been discovered had both leaders been transparent. To this day, I am not aware of either leader coming clean about what really happened—shame on those pastors for their lack of disclosure. But shame on the people involved who are still with the mother church, for not demanding to know the WHOLE truth, and evidence of repentance from ALL of the SGM leaders involved.
In previous installments, I’ve discussed the purpose of Ephesians 4 ministry. It is to equip the saints for the work of ministry. But in my nearly fifteen years with SGM, I saw very little equipping. Most of the “ministry” centered around the pastors, and any training was simply geared toward supporting their ministry. This is backwards! Healthy Ephesians 4 ministry is not about showcasing my gifts, but activating yours!
Again this is not unique to SGM, but the Kingdom value of every-member participation is quenched by the perpetual classroom mentality. I believe the DNA of what takes place (and what doesn’t) in the life of the body is set on Sunday mornings. What do you see? Typically pastors, and maybe a worship leader/team on stage, and everyone else sitting passively, at least half of the time. What inevitably develops is an unhealthy dependence on pastoral ministry.
It was Ignatius of Antioch who helped to set the foundation for what most call “church.” In his “epistle” to the Magnesians, he taught this monstrous doctrine:
As therefore the Lord did nothing without the Father, being united to Him, neither by Himself nor by the apostles, so neither do anything without the bishop and presbyters. (Chapter 7)
So it is ironic that so-called “Reformed” brethren continue to perpetuate this false doctrine of pastoral control. Everything in the life of the church must fall under the supervision of pastors. In my experience within SGM, if a pastor is unable (or simply unwilling) to “oversee” some form of ministry or outreach, it simply isn’t done. This produces a Babylonian bottleneck. The pastors sit at the top of the religious enterprise, empowered to make the final call on initiatives the Spirit of God may put in the heart of regular members. A “no” from the pastor often relegates those members to a role of religious observers . . . merely watching the leaders do what is alleged to be ministry. Much of the time, that is simply preaching and teaching. The real body life of “one anothers” rarely takes place. And truthfully, pastors are often relationally broken themselves, and/or inept and unable to walk in fellowship with regular members. This reduces our Father’s vision of a healthy body nourishing itself and carrying out the mission of the gospel… into a religious lecturing society.
In this kind of atmosphere, members are assured that their pastors are caring for them. They are dealing with the pertinent matters of the church. Members need not worry their little hearts out. The church “elders” have everything under control. Members simply need to attend and participate in all the meetings and pay their tithes. The leaders will take care of the rest.
Because members buy into this blatant suffocation of the “royal priesthood,” they extend trust that goes beyond scriptural boundaries. The result is leaders have broad latitude to define their level of control over the flock. And the temptation to use and abuse that authority is irresistible.
So members are generally in the dark about what is really going on in the church. They are instructed to submit to those in authority over them, and to trust them. But Paul has a much more humble view of himself and other leaders, and he accepts the burden of responsibility:
This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.
(1 Corinthians 4:1-2 ESV)
The New American Standard Version drives it home a little more:
In this case, moreover, it is required of stewards that one be found trustworthy.
The challenge comes in any effort to verify trustworthiness. This can only happen in genuine relationship. So without an atmosphere of mutuality in relationship, injustices and abuse occur behind closed doors. And in a controversy, there’s only one version of events that matters: the pastors’ version.
Since members have already accepted this default position to discern what is true and what is not, the tendency will always lead to acquitting the leadership, and marginalizing or judging anyone who might dare to have a contrary opinion or perspective. And so it is a very small leap at this point to encourage members to refuse to listen to anyone who disagrees with them. Tragically many members tend to comply. The result is true Kingdom purposes are thwarted, and an atmosphere for profound evil to flourish only grows with time.
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. "
- Edmund Burke
There is an evil which most of us condone and are even guilty of: we remain neutral, impartial, and not easily moved by the wrongs done to other people. Indifference to evil is more insidious than evil itself. It’s more universal, more contagious, and more dangerous. A silent justification makes evil that erupts as an exception to become the rule, and in turn allows it to be widely accepted. [i] Indifference to injustice is the normalization of evil.
[i] The Prophets, Abraham Heschel, 364; quoted by Stephen Crosby, Healing: Hope or Hype?
The indifference described above is the breeding ground for the birth and development of spiritual tyranny. We need to hear the wisdom of Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel on the issue of indifference and passivity:
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
(Oct. 1986)
I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
For one who is indifferent, life itself is a prison. Any sense of community is external or, even worse, nonexistent. Thus, indifference means solitude. Those who are indifferent do not see others. They feel nothing for others and are unconcerned with what might happen to them. They are surrounded by a great emptiness. Filled by it, in fact. They are devoid of all hope as well as imagination. In other words: devoid of any future.
In the Pauline spirit, I also offer a refreshing contrast to the standard fare from SGM. It is happening in Gaithersburg, MD. At the beginning of the current SGM crisis last summer, Joshua Harris set the tone for the people he leads at Covenant Life Church by starting with repentance. Now months into the process of review and exceptional input from members, that local church is changing its pattern of governance. Among the many positive changes, the members will be involved in every significant decision. This is a great start in the right direction.
I can also personally testify about how God’s people begin to flourish in Jesus when they get out from under oppressive top-heavy, hierarchal, religious control. In a few short months I have watched two dear friends of mine move from passivity on the pastoral plantation, into healthy identities in Jesus as men of God who are demonstrating priestly initiative. How did they get there? Genuine Ephesians 4 apostles and prophets walked with them in relationship as friends, and coaches, not as overlords. This is in sharp contrast to the years of sitting under “leadership” dominated by pastor-teachers that stripped them of their identity and purpose in Christ, essentially emasculating them.
Notice Paul’s perspective and attitude toward believers he wrote to. He clearly did not see them as “dumb sheep.”
I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another.
(Romans 15:14 ESV)
Clearly the leadership of SGM has no such confidence in its people. They continue to double down on the demonically empowered idea that regenerated members are eternally untrustworthy and sin-prone, and therefore dependent on pastoral leadership to function. This is not only biblically indefensible, but even the world recognizes that this is profoundly unhealthy and cultic.
Then I heard another voice from heaven saying,
“Come out of her, my people,
lest you take part in her sins,
lest you share in her plagues;
for her sins are heaped high as heaven,
and God has remembered her iniquities.
(Revelation 18:4-5 ESV)
Whatever we believe Babylon represents in Revelation 17 and 18, we should take the judgment the Lord pronounces very seriously. We can argue that we did not commit all the sins the leaders were responsible for. But the truth is, we cannot make that claim if we are rank and file members who give assent to their activities (seen and unseen) by our presence, and fund their activities with our money. There is simply no excuse for any believer to bury his head in the sand and buy into the lie that matters of religious abuse, leadership sin and hypocrisy, are “pastoral issues” that are none of our business. All too often I’ve seen naïve and lazy believers embrace such non-thinking . . . until they are personally victimized. Otherwise they don’t care. “As long as the music is good and the doctrine is sound, and the pastor or pastors treat me well, nothing else matters.” It should be clear by now this is not kingdom thinking, but frankly thoughtlessness, the kind that is unacceptable even to humanists, the kind that produces tyrants in the church and in the world.
Saints let’s get real on this: if we can’t come to grips with the level ground at the foot of the cross, the priesthood of believers (in practice, not just in theory), and the upside down (or right side up) understanding of the kingdom of God (true leadership is modeled by serving, not reigning over others), we have absolutely NOTHING to show the world, no matter how sound the gospel we proclaim with our lips. The world will continue to hear our clanging cymbals and realize nothing has changed. We’re still playing church.
If you are in the Hickory NC area you might be interested in joining us next Saturday AM, March 17, at A Place to Talk at 1546 Brookford Church Rd, Hickory, NC 28602, from 9-noon.
We will be doing Part One of a once-a-month, three month, series on "How New is the New Covenant?" This month we will be doing an introduction, and looking at the fundamentals of sin and righteousness from a "relational" point of view, rather than the "legal-forensic" point of view that has characterized the Western Church for 1,000 years. This will be seminary level teaching. All are welcome, but bring your "thinking caps" with you! :-)
There is no registration fee, but an offering will be taken.
I think you might find it invigorating and "challenging" . . .
This apostolic critique of the 21st century church is written primarily for apostles and prophets—in a language that should be familiar to most. It is short, and to the point. Others may find it interesting, even helpful and insightful, as it addresses issues that affect all believers. May the Holy Spirit add meat to the bones for you that sets these issues into your particular context, culture and tradition.
There are numerous issues that should be evident to apostles and prophets, but often escape the attention of others. The objective of this book is to set forth these issues for our consideration. Each chapter will address a different issue.
We acknowledge the sincerity of the vast majority of church leaders and churchgoers. Honest, deeply committed Christians can disagree. However, the age of being disagreeable must come to an end, and we—together—must face issues with a willingness to embrace the truth when it becomes evident.
After Pentecost of 33 A.D., both the kingdom and the church are spoken of as a present reality. Prior to Acts Chapter 2, the kingdom and the church are spoken of as future. Earlier, Christ had said, "I will build My church." In the last verse of Acts 2 we learn that the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.
Christ began reigning after His ascension. On Pentecost in 33 A.D. Peter affirms that the prophecy of David concerning one who would sit on his throne was fulfilled in Christ's resurrection.
Jesus Christ began His reign on the earth through a people who were filled with His Spirit. Prior to being crucified, He told them:
“The Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.
“He (the Spirit of truth) dwells with you and will be in you.” Hmmm. Could this be Jesus?
“I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.”
“The world will see Me no more, but you will see Me.”
All of the above foundational truths were embodied in the apostles’ teaching to which the early church remained steadfast. The early church is our model, only because the Holy Spirit led it. We are to be led by the Holy Spirit today. Christ in them, there and then, and Christ in us, here and now, was—and is—the hope of glory.
We need more than teaching about what the apostles taught. We need the apostolic impartation that the early church experienced. We need the real deal if we are to become the real deal!
To that end, I prayerfully submit a critique of the twenty-first century church. Here are twelve issues of concern:
• Pastors are not acceptable substitutes for apostles.
• Evangelism is not an acceptable substitute for discipleship.
• The good news of salvation is not an acceptable substitute for the gospel of the kingdom.
• Heaven is not an acceptable substitute for the kingdom of God on the earth.
• Pastors who act like apostles are not an acceptable substitute for master builders.
• Organizational membership is not an acceptable substitute for Holy Spirit placement.
• Citywide events are not acceptable substitutes for the church in the city.
• Tithing is not an acceptable substitute for Spirit-led stewardship.
• Devotion to church is not an acceptable substitute for devotion to Jesus.
• Busyness in church activity is not an acceptable substitute for life in the Spirit.
• The anointing is not an acceptable substitute for maturity and transformation.
• Sixty minutes of singing is not an acceptable substitute for a lifestyle of worship.
Do not settle for substitutes! In the sweetness of the Spirit, pray and work for the reformation that is in His heart.
My objective includes eliminating unnecessary issues and enabling certain essentials so that the oneness we have together in Jesus may be both enjoyed by us, and at the same time, displayed for the world around us to see.
So long as the church as a whole avoids or fails to acknowledge the master builders—and their role in the foundation of the church—divisive issues will persist and essentials will be neglected.
My heart is to present something that would draw us together, not further denominate the fractured and compromised body of Christ. I ask: “Is Christ divided?”
This book is the fruit of nearly fifty years of repenting. I have been called upon many times, because of new insights into God’s purpose, to lay down practices that I formerly believed were acceptable. More than once, I was guided to repent from things that directly related to our income, the financial security for my wife and family. The daily cross of disciples looms large when one is facing these kinds of death to self. I can look back and be thankful for each time that I chose His life, to submit to Him and His higher thoughts and ways.
There is no camel’s hump hindering me from going through the eye of the needle, and entering in to all that Father has for me—all that He has for me to do.
Repentance is no big deal—it is the way to life, and a way of life—when you are following the Cloud by day and the Pillar of Fire by night.
Living in an awareness of the abiding presence of Christ within makes all such changes seem very small. Repentance is “a no-brainer” when you are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Being aware that we have been baptized into Christ’s death, we are also aware that we were raised with Him from the dead, to walk in newness of life.
The Master of all master builders is building His church!
The kingdom of God will be given to a nation bearing the fruits of it.
Can we talk? Can we embrace one another as brothers and sisters, and yield to the Holy Spirit to manifest His fruit as we discuss these matters together?
And the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (fighting and contending). Instead, he must be kindly to everyone and mild-tempered [preserving the bond of peace]; he must be a skilled and suitable teacher, patient and forbearing and willing to suffer wrong.
You were all called to travel the same road, and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly. You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness.
You can order Don Atkin's new book, CHURCH AND KINGDOM – HERE AND NOW at this link:
One day, an Australian seminary student met a teenager living on the streets of Melbourne and struck up a conversation. As he tried to share the Gospel, the boy asked pointedly, “What is God like?”
What a loaded question! The seminary student had one chance to share the Good News and felt pressured to come up with just the right answer. His mind raced. Reflecting on what he’d learned in his recent studies, he replied, “God is like a father.”
Without hesitation, the teenager snapped, “Well, if he’s anything like my old man, you can have him,” and walked away. Later, the student learned from a social worker that the boy’s father had repeatedly beaten his mother and raped his sister. The word “father” had dredged up all kinds of emotions and terrible memories, and the door to sharing the Gospel had been slammed shut.
This story vividly illustrates the relationship between the impressions left on us by our earthly fathers and our perceptions of God. Because this teenager had a bad experience with his own father, he was unable to grasp the goodness, kindness, and loving nature of the heavenly Father.
Ideally, our experiences with our fathers should point us to the heart of a greater Father who loves us more than any earthly father ever could. Unfortunately, this is not usually the case. Maybe you’ve felt the sting of a clenched fist or recall the haunting, cruel words of a childhood incident. Maybe you never heard your father say, “I love you.” Countless people have told me, “I have no problem believing Jesus loves me, but I can’t seem to relate to God as my Father.” More often than not, they were emotionally or physically abused while growing up, or their fathers were never there for them. If you’ve had a bad experience with your father, it may not be easy to relate—consciously or subconsciously—to God as your Father.
What do you think God is like? How do you perceive Him?
The Affirming Father
Many of us grew up in homes that were performance-driven. Our fathers may have only expressed approval after he thought we’d accomplished something of significance. The pat on the back, the words “Well done!” or an extra long embrace were only given after we had excelled in something like education, sports, music, or employment. While our achievements should have been recognized and celebrated, they should never have been a prerequisite for receiving our father’s love and affirmation.
This performance-oriented mentality eventually spills over into our Christian lives. Initially as young believers, we may sense God’s unconditional love and enjoy the simplicity of relationship with Christ, but it’s not long before we think we aren’t doing enough. This mindset ingrained in us from childhood rears its ugly head and starts haunting us again. It suggests to us that we can’t run hard enough, chase God fast enough, pray enough, serve enough, or be in church enough.
But our heavenly Father never bases His love and affirmation of us on what we do for Him—His acceptance is completely unconditional. You can’t do anything to win His approval. He loves you fully, and that will never change because you are in Christ. And grace can never be repaid. It carries no price tag – not because it’s worthless, but because it’s priceless.
Merely disciplining ourselves in Christian practices will never produce lasting joy in our lives. Too many of us are doing things out of duty rather than delight. We’re praying and reading our Bibles out of routine rather than enjoying our relationship with God. We live with continual guilt, feeling that we aren’t doing enough for Him. We try to get up early every morning and spend quality time with Him, but it’s never enough. We memorize Scripture and witness to everything that breathes, but always come away feeling we haven’t accomplished enough. We’re consumed with a fear of punishment for not measuring up.
We have been programmed to believe that our success in life is based on what we do.
But what is our Father’s view of success? The Scriptures clearly reveal that what makes a man or woman successful is not what they do; true success is being loved by God and being lovers of God. Psalm 18:35 says, “You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great” (NIV).
What makes our lives valuable? It’s God’s extravagant love for us—not our accomplishments. Our worth is defined by the fact that He created us for Himself; He doesn’t want our efforts as much as He wants us. He certainly does enjoy what we do for Him. But most of all, He enjoys us!
The Approachable Father
Some of us also had fathers who were overly strict and stern. They placed demands on us that often broke our spirits, ruling the home with a mixture of fear and guilt. Instead of offering love and affirmation, they may have continually pointed out our faults and mistakes—perhaps thinking they would motivate us to “try harder.”
If you grew up with a dad who was demanding or abusive, you may have difficulty receiving your heavenly Father’s love; you may tend to think He’s always looking for some fault in you. As a result, it may be hard for you to picture Him smiling over you in loving approval and acceptance.
Like a beaten puppy, you may actually be afraid of God, assuming He’s just like the other authority figures in your life. But you must realize that He is different from any other authority figure you’ve ever known. He isn’t perpetually angry with you or just putting up with you; He enjoys you even in your struggles.
I’ve been blessed with two sons. When they were babies, they couldn’t communicate with me. They couldn’t even play golf with me. All they did was eat, sleep, and make messes. But I loved them intensely! Now that they are adults, I don’t love them any more than I did when they were babies. They were just in a different season of their lives.
1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (NIV). Do you get the message? God is not an authoritarian Father. He doesn’t want you shrinking back in fear or apprehension of Him.
The true fear of the Lord is not a tormenting fear or an emotional fear. It’s not even a fear of punishment in this life or the life to come. The fear of God is the sense of awe we experience when we’re brought face to face with the transcendent (unequaled, surpassing, matchless) splendor and beauty of who He is and the incredible love that He has for us. It is this awe and reverence that can bring us close to the Father’s heart and lead us into a life of spiritual and emotional wholeness.
Because of our past experiences, many mistake divine correction for divine rejection. But the Father’s correction is deeply rooted in His affections for us. While He may be displeased with a certain area in our lives, He is not displeased with us as individuals—as Proverbs 3:12 says, “the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (NIV). Although He sees the undeveloped areas of our character, He also hears the willing cry of our spirits. As we set our hearts on loving and obeying Him, He will make adjustments in our lives until we come to maturity.
The Affectionate Father
In 1996, Christopher Robin Milne died in England. You may recognize the name. His father was the famed children’s author A. A. Milne, who named the lead human character in his Winnie-the-Pooh books after his son.
But according to Christopher Milne’s tragic obituary, his father spent little time with him. He was too busy making other children laugh and smile through his writings to take time for his own son. Christopher died in his 70s, hating his world-renowned father because he failed to live the kind of life he depicted in his books.
Like the younger Milne, a lot of us grew up with passive fathers. They seemed distant and rarely got involved in our personal lives. They weren’t very affectionate and rarely showed any emotion. So we have difficulty understanding God as our Father, because we view Him as distant and aloof. Our earthly fathers never expressed their love and affection for us or spent quality time with us. They didn’t seem to notice our joys, our sorrows, our struggles, or our successes. This has led us to believe that God doesn’t care about the details of our lives. We then find ourselves running to Him only in an emergency. Our relationship with Him never deepens or becomes intimate because, in the back of our minds, we fear that God is not really interested in us.
But just the opposite is true! You are special to Him (Psalm 139:13-18). There has never been another human being quite like you, and there never will be. You make Him smile. You make Him laugh. In Zephaniah 3:17, the Bible even says you make Him sing for joy. Whether you understand that or not doesn’t stop God from responding to you in this way.
He looks at you and grins. You are your Father’s unique boy or girl, bringing Him pleasure and delight in a way no one else ever could. He loves your freckles and funky-shaped toes—and He loves your heart. He loves you when you’re awake, vibrant, and full of life. And He loves you just as much when you’re down, struggling, and lethargic. He even loves you when you’re sleeping. He loves you when wake up—even with morning breath and “sleep” tucked in the corners of your eyes. He can’t wait to hear your first thoughts. He looks forward to accompanying you throughout the day and talking with you. He loves watching you enjoy His creation. He smiles when you look at the mountains, sea, or sky and think of Him. Just being with you is enough.
The truth is, God really likes you. In fact, He enjoys you. You may not think you measure up, but He does. He isn’t tolerating you. He isn’t waiting for you to become more mature in your Christian walk; He loves you right where you are, even in your weakness and immaturity. He’s not keeping a record of your mistakes or the times you blew it. Thanks to the gracious act of His Son, He sees you perfectly redeemed!
You can order S.J's book "Enjoying God" at this link.
